I haven't posted in like... many many months. In the meantime a lot of shit has been occuring. My good best mate I made in Australia (Daniel- aka the Swede) came to visit me, and we had a blast surfing like pros for 3 straight weeks... I must say... Thanks man, you made my life brighter and really happier those days!.
Then I've also been back to Spain, where I spent again probably the best days of this whole last year. I met my great family, which is always there supporting me and reading between lines to find out how I feel through the wall I build around myself. And my friends... the best on the whole world!! Each of them with their peculiarities, each of them a jewel. They are the ones that make me miss Spain more than anything in this world. A week in Andorra snowboarding with them and playing that addictive Guitar Hero! I miss all of u, the crazy dinners being loud and obnoxious, our jokes, the jokes about me, laughthing at myself... I miss all of you guys!
And now I am again back to LA. Which brings me to the title. Reasons to hate... why do I feel today like I have so much hate inside. I hate LA, for many reasons... and I cant explain or enumerate them. I think it is the fact that you make some friends... but you dont get to hang out with them so much, so you never get to the level of trust to be able to discuss with them all what bothers you. And at the end of the day... it seems like all the people you know are party friends, people to go and do things, but not really share your life with. It is a city too big and it feels like it lost any sort of soul while growing.
I am hating people... I am hating people I loved, people I think I still love. And again... the reasons nearly escape my understanding. I guess a big piece is learning that when people say they love you, a lot of times they dont really mean it. Or it is something that is not a "forever" thing. I am very naive, or maybe I have watched a lot of movies... and I expect too much when someone says they love me. Maybe it was being time (at my 27) to discover that you cant deposit too much trust in someone that you have known only for a year or two or not even three. Just because they say they love you, or because you have shared the most intimate experiences means they are not going to stab you from the back, or leave you when things get complicated. I guess when you find all that out suddenly you start to hate. I personally hate that those girls that said they would never forget me, just remember me once or twice a year... mostly when I write them something. Or when they decide to break up plans... cause they seem too complicated or just cause it is more realistic to not even try.
Whatever... at the end of the day... I'll have to deal with this world of fake people, of hypocrites, of lying chicks, of incompetent administrations, of stupid burocracy... And my plan... as of today... IGNORE all that shit! I'll go surfing, clean my mind and my soul of all that hate feeling that eats me from the inside, and I'll try to be me... maybe one day some people will regret acting the way they did... I won't...
Wow... this has been quite a treapeutical post... I dont think anyone is gonna read it all!! Ok.. promised... next post is pictures!
I love you my friends! And I miss you more than you can imagine!
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5 comments:
Be water my friend!
Prim, ¿dónde está escrito que los 27 te hagan llegar a un punto de inflexión y reflexión profunda, nunca mejor dicho, que te haga ser consciente de la superficialidad que existe a tu alrededor-quitando amigos auténticos y familia-? No lo se, pero fijo que es algo escrito en el calendario biológico. Yo he pensado ultimamente muchas veces igual que tú. Espero que los 28 diluyan un poco la cortina pesimista y nos devuelvan el optimismo que anhelamos. De todas formassssssssss, ánimos a mil y disfruta del momento LA, por muy cazurros que sean. Ja, ja, cuando tengas un mal momento... ¡recuerda la super quintada! Nada más surrealista y divertido.
Un besazo,
María
Well, I really had a great time visiting you in LA and it gave me a lot of energy which I'm gonna need now dealing with all the work I have to do (thesis writing). I have uploaded some pictures from the trip here: http://www.resdagboken.se/Default.aspx?documentId=24§ion=journey&journeyId=153742&userId=-1. You already have all the pics Manolo but anyone else reading this are free to have a look as well. So.. don't forget to keep surfing, it's good for the soul! Well.. maybe you should switch the surfboard for the snowboard for a while, I've heard you're getting some real winter over there... Ok, ta hand om dig kompis och vi hörs!!
ey!!! don´t worry!!! your cheerleaders love you!!!!
Tio animate un poko, k en na y menos vas a tener otra dosis de amigos coñazo, hermana insufrible, padres agobiantes...blablabla. Y luego en nada el verano!!! y otra escapada para EspaÑa.
Besitos y... como dice Enrike... Be water!
un poco mal que obvies tu welcome, no? por no hablar de tus "guys"... y your cheers leaders?? En fin, porque te I love you como a un brother, que si no...
Despues de haber read tu odioso comentario (odioso por el titulo,claro...) y haberme puesto muy muy sad por lo que has puesto, solo I can decirte, now en serio, que te replantees tu life, que eres muy young, y muy inteligente para odiar tu life asi... Supongo que lo habras hecho mas de one time, but no se, perhaps no merezca la pena tanto un great curriculum no?? no se, para mi es hard valorarlo, but creo que no eres happy y de eso si entiendo. Que un dia you smell a Dior, y al next day estas hundido en la shit mas maloliente.
You know que estoy hundida en lo mas deep de la shit, y que si por mi fuera, me quedaba con toda la yours, pero I can't, y also sabes que no pierdo la esperanza de recuperar mi olor natural a Chic de Carolina Herrera, that one que me sale por los poros aunque este siete dias without ducharme... Y hago lo que puedo para recuperarlo, que la life son dos dias.
Te lo pondria todo en ingles, but me he vuelto lazy mental, por las metastasis, you know. Ya se me pasara.
En fin, que I love you, y que seas happy, que es lo que importa brother. Que te quiero mucho.
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